- Can my partner and I both adopt?
- What types of birthfamilies choose gay or lesbian families?
- Does it take gay and lesbian families longer than straight families to adopt?
- How long does it take to adopt?
- How should we present ourselves in our birthmother literature?
- If the birthmother lives in a state where gay adoptions are not allowed, will we be able to adopt?
- What does the IAC do to help their gay and lesbian families in their adoption outreach efforts?
Can my partner and I both adopt?
Yes, please visit the HRC's website to check your state’s laws regarding same sex adoption.
What types of birthfamilies choose gay or lesbian families?
All types. The birthfamily’s reasons for picking you are as personal and specific to that birthmother and her family as picking any couple. You may remind her of her brother whom she loves dearly, or an auntie who raised her. She may or may not have a direct connection with the gay community at all. The only thing you can say for sure is that the birthmother is open to placing her baby with a wonderful gay or lesbian family.
Does it take gay and lesbian families longer than straight families to adopt?
No. Our gay and lesbian clients average the same wait time as straight families do to adopt. Often there is a preconceived notion that there is a longer wait time for gay and lesbian families but this has never proven to be true.
How long does it take to adopt?
Our clients generally wait an average of 6 to 18 months to have a child in their home. In the past few years we have had approximately 17 placements per year with gay or lesbian adoptive families. We are reaching out to more gay and lesbian clients each year, and our nationwide program has gay and lesbian clients from California, New Jersey, New York, Texas, North Carolina, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Washington, Missouri, Maryland, Georgia, Washington, D.C., Wisconsin and Illinois.
How should we present ourselves in our birthmother literature?
The answer to this question is the same to all of our prospective adoptive families: present yourself authentically. Show the types of relationships you have with your partner, your family and your community. One of the most important things to a birthmother is finding a family that is loving, caring, genuine and believes in open adoption.
If the birthmother lives in a state where gay adoptions are not allowed, will we be able to adopt?
If the baby is born in a state where gay adoptions are not legally possible, your adoption home study and the interstate paperwork to allow you to bring the baby home will be submitted based on one of you as a single parent, rather than as a couple. When you return with the baby to your home state, you can proceed with legally finalizing the adoption as a couple if gay adoptions are legally possible in your home state.
What does the IAC do to help their gay and lesbian families in their adoption outreach efforts?
IAC educates birthparents about gay and lesbian parenting whenever possible; the agency also includes all gay and lesbian family profiles in “Dear Birthparent” packets unless specifically requested not to by a birthparent. We also include gay parenting terminology in our Google keywords outreach campaign. Additionally, the IAC has a gay and lesbian online support group. Here you can share tips and resources with other families who are at various stages of the adoption process. We have accumulated a list of online resources for our gay and lesbian families, which you can find on our Resources page.
